Making You More Confident about Yourself
The problem with most unconfident people is that they feel inferior to others.
Inferiority is a humiliating disbelief in one’s self.
It comes, not from genetic factors, but from awful childhood experiences, in which the attempts of the child to express his growing personality were prevented by an over-bearing parent or guardian, by a sibling or a schoolmate, or by some humiliating physical defect.
Inferiority starts at a stage in your life when your will was broken, and when your belief in yourself and in your ability was punctured. This results into emotional immaturity. On one hand, you are “less than the dust” in your own opinion. On the other hand, you compensate for this by exaggerated dreams, ideas, and ambitions quite beyond the scope of possibility. In consequence, you plan pretentious schemes in which you attain international recognition, rescue princesses from the hands of the villains, discover earth buried treasure, or become the conqueror of the world! Nothing less will do.
You are like a baby unable to walk, but hopes to capture the moon…and to capture it right now! But as soon as you make efforts to achieve your goals in real life, your disbelief in yourself springs back on you and you are returned on your native distrust. You think to yourself, I can never be good! And your inferiority continues to battle with your superior thinking, with no tangible outcome apart from mental torture.
Challenging as it is, this problem with inferiority can be dealt with if you trace it to its source and start a new lifestyle.
Relax. Remember to feel what it’s like to be a child again. Recall the countless bullies you endured, or the scolds from your parents you open-mindedly accepted. Live it over again in your mind. Bring back to memory all the cruel remarks, humiliations, and embarrassments you never wanted to live with in the first place.
Remember how these experiences were too much to bear - how your whole life became a protest against the inevitable defeat, with the result that your mental energies, instead of moving towards real achievement, were wrecked in a sea of worry and conflict because you thought you were a failure. Everyone appeared to be superior and better than you. You were “the little kid that nobody loves” and they became the monster in your eyes that you could never stand up to.
Now, since you’re not a kid anymore and you understand how this attitude has stayed with you through life, you can gradually climb out of it. You do not need to be the maltreated kid whom nobody loves anymore. You realize now that you are indeed a valuable member of the society and many recognize your presence.
You must control your mind and insist that the humiliating verdict passed on you by your childhood authorities and bullies is not true – that you must begin to accept yourself and believe in your own worth.
Don’t prejudice your chance of success by pursuing impossible dreams and ambitions. Instead, start with small accomplishments and work your way up with them. Morbid as it may seem, you need to kill your inferior self, so the more confident you can show up and do what it has to do – build the best out of you.