Before continuing with this report, let me ask you something:
Who are you?
And please, don’t just give me a name, a profession, or family information.
Ok, to help you answer my question, sit back, relax, take a deep breath, and ask yourself the following questions:
How do I describe myself? Am I a happy person or do I get mad easily? Am I Mr. Know-It-All or just plain stupid most of the time? Do I believe that I’m good-looking or am I contented with how people see me?
How did I come up with such description? Are those how I truly feel or just things I heard from other people?
How do I behave, react, and respond …in the house? …in the office? …with my friends? …with strangers?
How do others see me? Why could they possibly say that? Do I see their bases and can I justify it?
What are my dreams, goals, and ambitions in life? Have I already achieved even just a few of them? How do I plan to achieve the rest of them?
Who are my true friends? Close friends? Distant friends? Acquaintances? Am I a real friend to them, too?
What do other people expect of me? Am I meeting their expectations or have I disappointed them even once?
What is my best asset? Why did I say so? Has anybody told me it is really a good feature on me?
The above guide questions will help you realize how well you know yourself. And once you’ve known more, here’s another question: Are you being the “real” you at all times? No hesitations? No pretensions?
Joe Pine and Jim Gilmore, authors of the book Get Real, define the term real as “being true to yourself and being true to others; as possessing authenticity and sincerity.” They add, “Real people know their roots, their heritage, and their history. They remember where they came from and who brought them to the dance. And they retain that knowledge. They know their values, and they behave accordingly.”
Being real, or being you, is important on all occasions, not just to other people, but also more to yourself. When you show people who you really are, they will believe that you are sincere. What they will hear is who you actually are. There will be no veil between your true nature and your perception of it. You are the same on the outside as on the inside.
People don’t want to be deceived in any way. And if you are untrue, if you are not real, if you do something that is not you, then you are performing deceit. How can the acts of being unreal take your charisma away from you?
First, there is lying. When other people find out that you are not telling the truth to them, everything you have ever said or done will be put into question. Another sign of being unreal is an act of hypocrisy. Don’t you feel terrible when someone is not being real with you? Finally, there is insincerity – when we are being fooled. How would you feel if you were given a praise that makes you feel great about yourself and then later on found out that it was full of hot air?
Isn’t it annoying how other people show not their true self, but somebody you don’t even know? We know the feeling. Hence, we should not be seen doing such act. If you want to be liked, be yourself. Never be afraid, because the more you show the real you, the more reasons you’ll have for other people to like you.